


Your call is important to us.

by BarPurple



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, For Science!, Gen, Job Change AU, Sherlock Holmes and Experiments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1590152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock work in Tech Support. John hasn't heard Sherlock shout at a customer all morning. Something is definitely going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your call is important to us.

John Watson ended the call and gently banged his head off his desk. Coffee was essential before he took another call. There were only so many ways you could explain to people that they really did need a wireless hub for Wi-Fi, or that Twitter being down was not something you could do anything about just because you were the internet provider, or that washing your grandson’s game disc with bleach was not a sensible idea no matter how many sticky finger prints were on it.

He was beginning to agree with Sherlock that people were idiots who should have to take an IQ test before they were allow near modern technology. John groaned to himself as he poured his coffee. Today must be bad if he was agreeing with Sherlock’s approach to customer service. 

It occurred to John that he hadn’t heard Sherlock berate a caller all morning. Thinking about it he couldn’t recall hearing his flatmate’s distinctive baritone at all. An investigation was called for; last time Sherlock had been this quiet it turned out he’d fallen asleep at his desk after spending all night playing Call of Duty. John poured a cup of coffee for his flatmate and went to see what chaos he was causing this time.

Sherlock’s cubicle was two rows over from John’s own soul sucking fabric box. As he turned into that row his heart sank. Several people were stood leaning into Sherlock’s cubicle, there were even a few people impersonating meerkats over the connecting walls. The last time this had happened Sherlock was in a twenty minute argument with a customer over download limits. Everyone else thought it was brilliant that a phone drone was finally telling a customer everything they had secretly wanted to say. The only reason Sherlock hadn’t been fired was he proved the customer in question was doing something very illegal to max out his download limit.

John took a fortifying sip of coffee and went to witness the latest crazy thing his friend was doing. A little voice at the back of his mind pointed out he still couldn’t hear Sherlock’s voice. The reason why became apparent as John elbowed his way through the crowd and into Sherlock’s workspace.

Sherlock was there doing his job; politely talking to a customer. The only difference was the voice. Sherlock was speaking in the broadest Liverpudlian accent John had ever heard. The tech support default suggestion came out of Sherlock’s mouth as;

“Avyer tried tn'n it off and ed again?”

John joined in slapping his hand over his mouth to stifle the giggles the rose up his throat. There was a pause on Sherlock’s end as the customer did as instructed. The lanky man saw John and gave him a cheeky wink and a grin as he accepted the cup John had brought him.

“Is thus anyth’n else ay tinnie ellp yous wi’ terdee?”

Sherlock positioned his hand above a stop clock that John recognized from home, obviously getting ready to hit the button.

“Ta fe yer call t’rah fe now.”

His hand came down on the button and the assembled cube dwellers cheered. Sherlock took a mock bow as he scribbled something in his notebook.

“That was pretty fast Sherlock.”

Dimmock sounded impressed. Sherlock just smiled and asked in his normal voice;

“Any suggestions for the next call?”

“Do Black Country.”

Someone called out. Dimmock turned towards the voice.

“Where have you been? He’s done that one!”

“Actually I used Brummie. It’s a totally different accent. Black Country it is then.”

Before Sherlock answered the call he saw John’s bemused look.

“It’s for an experiment, John. I’m using various regional accents to see which one results in the shortest call time.”

“All of this is to get customers off the phone quicker?”

“Yup.” 

Sherlock only popped the final letter of the affirmative when he was in a very good mood. John chuckled fondly as Sherlock answered the next call.

“Bostin mornen, technical support. ‘oo can I help yaouw?”

As John turned round to ask Dimmock what other accents Sherlock had tried he spotted a flash of silver hair above the cubicle walls.

“Lestrade.”

Everyone calmly scattered before the boss found them slacking. John casually leant against Sherlock’s desk. They were required to take breaks from the screen every hour to prevent eye strain and Lestrade knew if John didn’t remind Sherlock he’d forget in his typical scatter-brained way. Sherlock finished the call just before the boss got within ear shot.

“Ta bab fer callen. Bostin see ya layta.”

Lestrade nodded at John as he passed by. He looked rather annoyed, but since he wasn’t stopping here John couldn’t bring himself to care too much.

“So, why the experiment Sherlock?”

“I was bored. Plus if I top the calls handled chart this month we win a hundred quid in Marks and Sparks vouchers. Think about it John, posh ready meals for a week and cream cakes.”

John considered this for all of a micro second before saying;

“Have you done Welsh yet?”

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly I know that the accents Sherlock uses are extremes, but we all know how far Sherlock will take an experiment. 
> 
> Trying to write an accent was hard, so I used this handy site - http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/main.asp
> 
> (Marks and Sparks is a nickname for the shop M&S)


End file.
